christmas,25th December

WHAT IS CHRISTMAS MEAN??


A day before christmas,
i saw on tv something happen in Bandung. A guy kill his "mate" because of jealousy, well you know what i mean..it is a homosexual partner. Happen again and something pop ups in my mind, what happen to this world?? This is the true life that i live in lately...yeah!! It is true..

and just today (on 25th),
i saw again on tv another giving event on big day in Medan and Solo..Hundreds people stuck in one place just waiting for money and some food, oh geezzzz. Old lady- a mommy with her child let them self stuck in the middle of hundreds people and lots of this event brings to death. Can you imagine??

Well, that two events above put a question in my mind...Christmas, what is mean?? Im not trying to relate or blame Christmas...not at all, thats not what my purpose to do.

While lots of thing happen in this world and it is going crazy...while people looking for food and something to survive in this life....while no one care about old man who almost died in the street....while life is getting hard and no hope in people's eyes...what the christmas mean to me??

I choosed not to go home this Christmas, i just wanna be alone here. With fully hope that i wont be here for next Christmas :).. True, i am hoping something new in this Christmas even im so far away from my family.

Start in the morning, i woke up and something feel different. Sad? NO...Happy??not really..Joyful? can be that..or Peace maybe?? YEAH!! Correct....Peace, i feel that up to now while im writing. I feel so peace in my heart and never been like this for so long. I just said how thankful i am today. And how i can be so peace today, i dont know. I just know Him that give me peace everysingle day. But today, i know how worthy it is....Thank you J!!

Then i realised, just only me that feel that?/ Hopefully not..but how about that two event that happen above. Do that people feel peace in their lifes?? Well i dont know..What i know is that things happen guys!!

That peace not come automatically in my heart, someone came to the earth thousands years ago. Well, we know it called Christmas now...Since the process of His coming, not easy time. Children was killed, mother grief of their children, 3 kings need to face the Herodes, and maybe lots of other rite. Sometimes i asked myself, how could He made those things happen? Didnt He called by The Peace?? so why those things happen??

i stuck at the moment..and let the tears come up

Since the beginning of His life, he taught us that life is uncomfortable. Not hard for the Father to put His birth on fancy place or no crazy things happen. Not hard for Him to do that, but He didnt choose that. Thats the answer for my question..

I know it now, Christmas is not about comfortable life. I aint critism of gift at Christmas, christmas tree, or something fancy on that day. I am so ok with all that. But dont stop in there...For whole my 26 ive been celebrating Christmas, now i get new understanding of what Christmas means. It means LIFE IS NOT COMFORTABLE, GET OUT FROM MY BOX!! Life is full of fighting spirit and life is not just about me...

Yeah, i got the peace already but lots of people out there hasnt.


at my room, thursday evening